I Saw A Film Today… Immortals

When Hollywood isn’t too busy focusing on vampires and releasing mediocre comedies, they seem to have a mild interest in Greek mythology, like a hipster college student. I say hipster college student because much like this tool who likes to play Goo-Goo Dolls songs on the quad with his acoustic guitar, Hollywood also likes to skim these books and then fill in the blanks themselves. Sure, they get some of the details right, but some important information is also left out. Which is the impression I got from Immortals.


The Heraklion King of Crete, Hyperion (Mickey Rourke) is waging war against the gods and plans to release the Titans from the center of Mount Tartarus using the Epirus Bow. He just has to find it first. Should be simple, right? It’s only the fabled bow forged by Heracles. No biggie.

After capturing the virgin oracle Phaedra (Frieda Pinto), Hyperion is well on his way to finding the bow and comes to the village that is home to Theseus (Henry Cavill). Hyperion burns it down, kills Theseus’ mum, and then takes him as a prisoner.

Later, Theseus escapes with Phaedra and a thief named Starvos (Stephen Doriff) and sets out to kill Hyperion. Will the gods step in and help Theseus with this fight? Or will Hyperion take control of the world.

If you are a fan of the film 300, which was made by the same people who produced this film, you will more than likely enjoy it. It has gory violence, masculine men, and skimpy outfits for those men to wear. But if you were to compare it to the above mentioned film, you would also find it falls short of it. Really, I believe it just falls short without the comparison.  The problem is it just feels thrown together. Almost like someone decided they had an okay idea and then realized they needed sixty minutes more to make it a full length feature.

Another problem is the gore. I don’t have a problem with a bloody film but as with most elements of a film, if it is there simply to be there and serves no purpose then it probably shouldn’t be there in the first place. And the gory really just didn’t need to be there. Take 300 again for example. In that particular film, blood is meant to be seen and spilt. This film, on the other hand, has characters murdered in ridiculous ways just so that it can be overtly gory. I understand that this is meant in some way for the 3-D aspect, but it is still over the top and distracting.

The performances in this are okay but nothing out of ordinary. Henry Cavill is a forgettable leading man, which leads me to question how he will stand as the new Superman. It’s nice to see Mickey Rourke but he just seems miscast as King Hyperion. Others are just not in the movie long enough to leave an impression. This includes Luke Evans, Isabel Lucas, Kellan Lutz, Daniel Sharman, Corey Sevier, and the great John Hurt. The only two people who left any form of an impression was Frieda Pinto and Stephan Doriff.

I’m not even going to argue about the accuracy of the film in comparison to Greek mythology. I could be wrong but I’m pretty sure Ares wasn’t killed by a flaming whip in the hands of an angry Zeus. In all, Immortals boils down to a mediocre popcorn flick. One that could watched at home.

Verdict: RENT IT!

*Rated R for sequences of strong, bloody violence and a scene of sexuality


3 Responses to “I Saw A Film Today… Immortals”

  1. Paragraph Film Reviews Says:

    I was disappointed with this, love Tarsem’s previous films but there’s clearly a load of studio influence in here (i.e. 300!). Agree on the gore too, but it was majorly cut down to push through a lower certificate – bizarre! Good review.

  2. Loved the movie but I admit it could’ve been better.

  3. It’s probably one of the best-looking films of the whole year (yet, I still haven’t seen Tree of Life) and the action is awesome and in-you-face which is something I always like. The story dragged on a bit and I couldn’t help but think that if the writing was a tweaked a little better, this would have definitely been a very solid film. Instead it was just fun and pretty to look at. Good review my dude Kev.

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