I Saw A Film Today… That’s My Boy

Adam Sandler must really hate what little of his career from the 90’s he has left to make such an abominable film as That’s My Boy. Or any film he has been apart of in the past few year. Or maybe he just never evolved. Maybe he is still stuck in the 90’s and still thinks the comedy that died during that time is popular. Or maybe this is just a public viewing of a washed-up comedian in a mid-life crisis. Why does Hollywood even continue to allow this guy to make this type of dribble anymore? I direct this question towards you Columbia Pictures.

That’s My Boy is the story of Donny Berger, a thirteen year-old boy who gets to live out the juvenile schoolboy dream of having intercourse multiple times with his extremely hot teacher Ms. McGarricle (Eva Amurri). Eventually the two are publicly caught. McGarricle is sentenced to thirty years in jail, leaving Donny to raise their child and to also become something of a celebrity which leads to him getting his own television show. Still tracking with this unbelievable plot?

Fast forward to present day and Donny (Sandler) is a cheap beer guzzling nobody while his son, previously named Han Solo and now named Todd (Andy Samberg), has created a nice life for himself. Donny also hasn’t paid his taxes since 1994 and now he’s going to prison if he can’t pay the $40,000 plus bill to the government.

And as if glorious manna was delivered from heaven, while sitting at his favorite strip club/breakfast bar he finds a newspaper article announcing his sons upcoming wedding. There’s a plotting about making the money by having a reunion show of sorts or something. Are you still reading this? I’m getting bored just summarizing this recycled plot. Any who, high jinks ensue, juvenile jokes are made, blah blah blah.

There is some growing up here on Sandler’s part. Instead of his usual “I have a small penis” schtick he upgrades to the much more mature “I have a massive, glorious schlong” bit. He even steps into new territory by doing an almost inaudible Boston accent. Most likely an attempt by a Yankee fan trying to stick it to the Red Sox. Unfortunately this backfires on him and everyone is laughing for all the wrong reasons.

The one good thing about this film is not really anything about the film itself, it’s something I learned about myself: If I can survive all the way through this rubbish without walking out, I can probably also make it through any other film. In fact, I would have rather welded my eyeballs together. I would have rather burn my nipples off with a blow torch. I would have rather had dinner with Fran Drescher in her The Nanny character. These are just some of the many colorful examples of things I thought up while watching That’s My Boy that I would have rather done than watch the entirety of this film.

As I’ve already mentioned, Sandler’s performance is the worst I’ve ever seen. Then again I have not (nor will I) seen Jack & Jill. But this time around he decided to bring his friends along with him, some even talented acts. Of course frequent collaborator Peter Dante makes an appearance, as well as other members of the Happy Madison brigade. Poor Andy Samberg, a man who can be quite talented at times, has his moments here but unfortunately the material does him in.  The same thing goes for Nick Swardson, who is on his own slippery slope of destruction. Everyone else in this film is just as mediocre and boring as the leads. You’re really grasping at straws when you include Todd Bridges and Vanilla Ice.

Who will rescue Sandler from his comedy hell? Who knows, but I hope they arrive soon.

Verdict: SKIP IT!

*Rated R for crude sexual content throughout, nudity, pervasive language and some drug use.


One Response to “I Saw A Film Today… That’s My Boy”

  1. Eddie Murphy has been in some bad movies lately too. I think movies these days are directed towards the adolescent crowd. They’re the only ones willing to actually pay to see movies made by poor quality writers and directors.

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