Michael Bay’s adaptation of Transformers has not always been a favorite of mine. The first one was a great deal of fun. Again, we are talking about Michael Bay so you do leave your brain at the door and ignore the fact that there is little plot. Then there was Revenge of the Fallen. It was so confusing and mindless that I only made it twenty minutes into it. Now Bay has brought forward Transformers: Dark of the Moon, a film that combines a little of both.
*******
On July 20, 1969, Apollo 11 landed on the moon. Most know this. Then again, with the state of the American education system today, some may not. But that is off topic. What is not known is that Apollo 11 was actually a mission to retrieve an alien spaceship. The spaceship belongs to an Autobot named Sentinel Prime who is carrying an important payload.
Meanwhile, Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf) is in a bit of a rut. True, he did upgrade to another new brain-dead supermodel girlfriend (Rosie Huntington-Whiteley) but he really just wants recognition for what he calls “saving the world”. If I’m not mistaken, I thought the Autobots did most of the work.
Then some conspiracy theories are brought to Sam’s attention, some betrayals take place and all of a sudden the great city of Chicago is the hostage of the Decepticons. Then all hell breaks loose as the Autobots and humans try to reclaim the city from the Decepticons. Typical Bay mayhem ensues.
If that last paragraph seemed a bit hectic to you, then you get the general idea of how the last hour of this film is. It is a Red Bull induced sprint through the ruined streets of Chi-Town that could have been trimmed down by about thirty minutes. Dodging plot holes is another task. One minute the Decepticons plan on enslaving all of humanity, the next they are blowing their enslaved workforce to pieces.
To make points about the plot of this film would be pointless. This is a Michael Bay film-plot isn’t important. Everything is just an avenue to the next explosion or action sequence. In fact, Bay changes or alters world history more than Wikipedia. Or Sarah Palin.
Dialogue for the most part is Shia LaBeouf screaming phrases like “look out!” and people (and robots) looking off into the distance and saying something in an epic tone. And Rosie Huntington-Whitely may be an upgrade in physical beauty compared to Megan Fox, but she is just about on the same level in the acting department. Maybe worse.
People coming to see this film already know what they are getting. They come for a visual thrill ride and in this department Bay delivers greatly. He assaults you with so much intense action and heart-pounding sequences that you feel like he has violated your brain, which is what they want. And unlike his previous film, you can actually make out what is happening in this one. Leave your brain at the door and buckle in for a wild ride because your conductor is Mr. Bay.
Verdict: SEE IT if you’re a Bay or Transformers fan, SKIP IT for anything else.
That’s my verdict, now to hear yours. leave comments and opinions below.
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